A story of hope, by Angry Joe.
Juel Fairbanks was not my first treatment. In fact, it was my second that year, and eighth over my lifetime. I have had some sobriety in the past. Some good, some bad. There was always something missing. Something I wasn’t getting.
After two plus years of sobriety I found my self with my dream job. “The promises coming true.” I had everything I wanted. But, yet again, something was missing. I have a lot of theories of what made me take that first drink. I blamed it on a lot of things. Mandatory overtime, I work hard I deserve it, I don’t have time for AA or a Higher Power, I am my Higher power. Look at all the stuff I have, because of my hard work, ME ME ME. Whatever the excuse. I did it, Me and Me alone made that decision. I threw away my career and almost my life for one drink.
Like any good addict, I used work and material things too replace the Booze and make me happy. And I slowly, but surely moved away from AA and the things that made me feel good about myself. I also stopped taking my medication. Another key to my relapse. What brought me to my knees and treatment again was alcohol. (My old nemesis Vodka.) Cocaine, Weed, and the rest was easy for me to walk away from, but Vodka kicked my ass. Any good drunk knows it is always the Vodka.
After loosing my job, a few trips to detox, and narrowly missing violating my probation. I was confronted by my Mentor and Landlord Tony. “I needed him more than He will ever know.” I was Unemployed, Hopelessly Depressed and dying Physically, Mentally, Emotionally, and Spiritually. I had given up. I prayed for death. In a desperate cry for help, he agreed to help me get into treatment.
After spending eight weeks at Park Ave. I still wasn’t ready? I needed more. I was scared to death to return to life without rules.
I begged my counselor to help me. We discovered Juels by chance, and I agreed to give it a try. I am not sure what happened to me during my stay at Juel Fairbanks.
But, I changed. Call it a “Spiritual Awakening” if you will. Donna, Sue Ann, and the staff are the best. They truly care about the individual.
They gave me the space and tools to find myself. Allowed me to transition back to reality. Being able to work and return back to a safe place was huge for me.
Not to mention the MICD help that I received.
I have put together a few twenty-four hours since then. “One day at a time.” Life still has it’s ups and downs, but being able to face life’s trials and tribulations have new meaning to me today.
Today, I have the confidence to face my fears and I have hope.
That is all I ever wanted.
Not so Angry Joe